I work hard at limiting the amount of time I spend watching reels and videos online. But I can’t control myself when I see videos of grandkids reaching and sobbing for their grandparents. You know the ones. It’s hard to know who is having the hardest time with the separation – the grandchildren or the grandparents. If I’m tired, achy or both, watching these videos is the elixir I need.
While my daughter, Arielle, has never videochatted with me and my grandkids (Aria, 12; and Jax, 6) it would be pretty much the same. They stayed with me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays this summer. Every morning Arielle reminded them to be ready when she came to get them after work. Well, they never were because as soon as they heard her car, they velcroed themselves to me. Too big to lift or carry, there was nothing my daughter could do but wait. Threatening to leave them wouldn’t have helped because that’s what they wanted anyway.
I never imagined such a wonderful life. One day I was a regular person and the next day, the magic happened. I became a grandmother. Being the analytical person I am, I’ve tried to figure out what makes our grandchildren so crazy about us and us so crazy about them. I wonder how they attach to us, intuitively knowing we’re their people.
Then it occurred to me — they have our DNA. We are connected at the cellular level.
I love watching nature documentaries and am most fascinated by orcas. The grandmother orcas are the OGs. They pass their knowledge of the ocean, their survival skills and hunting techniques to their offspring.
The relationship among the grandmothers, mothers and grandchildren in these ocean-dwelling families validates our importance as grandparents. We have lived 50, 60 and 70-plus years. Within us is the wisdom and knowledge our grandchildren need.
I find myself thinking about social media and its enormous impact: good, bad and indifferent. As I was thinking about the role of grandparents, it occurred to me that many children (and adults) are being influenced by people they don’t know and will never meet. My grandmothers (I had three) and great-grandmother were my “influencers.”
I think about them constantly. My maternal grandmother and great-grandmother had the greatest impact on me. Like thousands of children whose parents moved to the North during the Great Migration, I went down South and stayed with them every summer once school was out.
During the day, my cousins and I piddled around the house with our great-grandmother, Momma Maggie. We were by her side when she hung the laundry out and helped her fold it when it dried. Every morning, we watched “The Price is Right” and the “stories” with her. After “All My Children,” we spent the afternoon on the front porch playing jacks, blackjack and other card games until supper.
Today when I’m folding sheets and towels, I think about Momma Maggie. I know some people hate doing laundry. However, I have always found it relaxing. One day it hit me that the reason I enjoy doing laundry is because I associate it with Momma Maggie.
Realizing Momma Maggie’s impact on me has me thinking about my relationship with Aria and Jax. I am conscious of the time we spend together because I know we are creating memories they will carry with them the rest of their lives.
Jax and I play an animal matching game on days when I don’t mind getting beat. Aria and I love watching nature documentaries. She’s already decided she wants to be a marine biologist. I believe my fascination with the ocean and the hours we’ve spent watching National Geographic influenced her career choice.
Reading books before bed is our all-time favorite activity. Aria always picks Frog and Toad. One day I asked why she keeps picking the same “baby book.” Her answer surprised me: “Because you always read it to me when I was younger.” When she has kids and grandkids, she will read Frog and Toad to them and the memories of our time together will come flooding back.
In November I will be 65. With the time I have left, I’m determined to make every moment with Aria and Jax memorable – from our signature breakfast (grits, eggs and sausage patties) to our listening and dancing to my favorite Motown artists to Sunday mornings in church.
I know smartphones, tablets, Ai and Roblox are all the rage today and into the foreseeable future. I also know these things pale in comparison to the role I play as Aria and Jax’s grandmother. I am determined to be their greatest influence(r).
Donna Brown writes about her relationship with her great-grandmother in her children’s picture book: My Momma Maggie. The book will be released in November to coincide with her 65th birthday. Brown is the founder of iMagicNation, a local literacy organization and 501(c)(3).
This article appears in August 20-26, 2026.
