My 19-year-old niece informed me of my responsibility for her belief for several years since she was six years old that people got pregnant by eating pickles. Why, I asked? Because when she was six years old and I was seven months pregnant, I ate a pickle in front of her.
Kids remember the darnedest things. Sift back through your own memories. Bet there are many vivid ones. Your holiday memories, large and small, are probably even more vibrant. They were most likely influenced by all the glitz and glamour of the season’s revelry and rituals or embedded deeply by repeating them annually, decade after decade.
Evaluating holiday traditions
Examining memories can help you create your own holiday traditions. What holiday rituals from your childhood would be a good fit for your family?
First, look at what your current traditions are. Write them down. Remember to include the simplest examples, such as waking up early on Christmas morning, going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, eating Chinese food on Christmas Day, putting up a tree the first day in December, going to the movie theater on Thanksgiving and so on. Include details. Do you cut down your own tree? Does the same person always cut it down? Do you go to the same tree farm? Do you sing songs in the car on the way there?
Now really look at what your traditions tell your children. Does attending midnight church services clue them in to your values and beliefs? Does decorating a tree include fancy expensive decorations or simple handmade ornaments? Are holiday meals prepared by the entire 24-member brood or do Mom and Dad cook it? Do you serve duck or tofu?
More important, what are your and your family’s attitudes during these yearly rituals and activities? Are you in a positive or negative frame of mind? Do you frown and complain that you don’t have enough gas or time to drive around to look at lights? Do you get excited when it’s time to plan the menu for your feast or shop for cooking ingredients? Do you smile and have a happy demeanor when you decorate the tree? What about the kids? Are they uncomfortable or upset? It may be time to change or tweak your tradition.
Building great holiday memories
Here are a few holiday traditions to share with your family. Share is the important word here. My daughter asked me once, why do people get married? I explained, “To share life.” Share space and time with your kids – share your knowledge and know-how. Modify any part of these to suit your own family’s needs. Search the Internet for ideas too. There are many out there. The key, whether your tradition is simple or complex, is consistency and contentment. Have fun, repeat, and have fun again!
• Family chat and tell. Share this exercise at Thanksgiving dinner tables or Christmastime drives in the car. Each person takes a turn and tells the group the worst and best part of their year. (Try this daily instead of an Advent calendar or throughout the year at dinnertime or as dialogue with your kids if you drive them to school.)
• Family room camp in. Grab the sleeping bags or blankets and make cozy beds on the floor. Watch movies, read books or talk. At Christmas, camp under the tree. Younger children love the idea of an indoor forest with tree lights as stars. They also love draped sheets over furniture to make a tent or fort. Older kids love movie or TV show marathons. It only counts if you stay in the tent or on the floor, or at least in the same room. Spend the night together. That’s the point – togetherness.
• Family of nature nuts. Fall leaves on a simple platter can be striking. Add an interesting twig or pinecone and you have a magical holiday centerpiece your kids will love helping you collect and construct. Guide them as appropriate for age. Turn a hike or walk into a treasure hunt. In our family, we search for heart rocks, gathering stones shaped like hearts. We find joy in discovering them the same way people hunt for four-leaf clovers or shells on a beach.
• Gratitude giveaways. Build a present tree. Secure a branch in a base. Hang tiny gift boxes by string or yarn from the ends of the branches. In each box include one reason why you are thankful. Make a thankful tree as a gift for grandparents. Or make thankful note giveaways. Write on pieces of paper or note cards, “I am thankful for Mom because ….” Give these on top of a gift as a gift tag, or place the note at the person’s plate on the holiday dinner table.
Contact Anita Stienstra at astienstra@illinoistimes.com.
This article appears in Capital City Parent October 2012.
