Dusty Rhodes: Fresh Ink

Untitled Document My older son is legendary among local figure-skating fans. Not for his double-loop jump or his flying camel or his back sit spin, because, in truth, those skills have gone the way of his adorably squeaky voice, his addiction to cinnamon toast, and his cheerful willingness to wear multicolored socks: into the fond-memory […]

Untitled Document Sherry Williams no longer answers her cell phone, at least not when I ring her. If I want to arrange a play date between her adorable daughter and my adoring son, I have to type a text message to Sherry’s phone. The fact that she doesn’t respond to a jingle isn’t personal, she […]

Untitled Document Everybody knows what “DNA” stands for — not just deoxyribo nucleic acid but also “do not argue.” It’s a conversation-ender, the kind of irrefutable proof that sends criminals to death row and springs the innocent from decades of imprisonment. So earlier this year, when I met Cheyenne Siebert — an 11-year-old cutie whose […]

Untitled Document Ask Sheila Walk what she misses about her previous teaching job, and she ticks off a list ranging from the profound to the mundane: She misses the quaint architecture of the ancient building. She misses the students and teachers who filled its halls. She misses the “block scheduling” that allotted 90 minutes per […]

Aidah Mahmood’s e-mails were easy to ignore. The first one, on May 28, was a single rambling paragraph into which she had condensed an incredible horror story about being set on fire by her relatives. Full of desperate pleas (“Please Help Me”), random details (“thorny sticker bushes”), and quirky spellings (“herendis crime”), it came with […]

Untitled Document Back in December 2005, I spent several days in a Sangamon County courtroom watching a middle-aged man stand trial for possession of marijuana. Set up in a sting by a co-worker who was trying to earn “consideration” in his own drug case, this state employee — who had no history of drug use […]

Untitled Document Simpsons schmimpsons. Who needs ’em? So what if Springfield, Vt., whomped us in USA Today’s contest to host the animated family’s movie premiere? Big fat hairy deal. I mean, sure, it would have been fabulous to have a swank event here in li’l ol’ Springpatch. Everybody could’ve gotten primped up and inflated with […]

Untitled Document Here at Illinois Times, we have a new full-time staff writer, which qualifies as a truly blessed event at our lean, mean little journalism machine. Her name is Amanda Robert, and she is just a kid, albeit an extra smart specimen of young adulthood. She asks a lot of questions and remembers the […]

Untitled Document If you’re the kind of person who solves crossword puzzles with an ink pen, responds with the right questions faster than the contestants on Jeopardy!, and can reach a higher score using a Scrabble board than a bowling ball, today’s column is probably not for you. You, I’m sure, aced AP English, made […]

Untitled Document Picture this: You’ve got floor seats for a sold-out concert, a date with the object of your obsession, a full set of fresh threads, and your hair looking like it just can’t help being perfect. You’re cruising toward St. Louis when suddenly you hear beeps that don’t harmonize with the tasteful tunes on […]

Untitled Document Maybe you remember Michael Newman. For a few months, in the summer of 2005, he made news as the guy who wanted to be a Springfield firefighter but was disqualified by something hinkey in his background check. What set him apart from the scores of other would-be hosers who fell into that same […]