Dusty Rhodes: Fresh Ink

Last week, my younger son lost two teeth in the same day. We all know what that means: he was in for windfall from the Tooth Fairy. At a dollar per tooth, he was due two bucks minimum. He was eager to collect the cash, but he knew he had to follow a certain onerous […]

Hooray, it’s T-shirt weather! Oh sure, the thermometer does not entirely agree, but trust me, we’ve never had more reasons to shuck the wooly turtlenecks and show off our tees. See, all the pain and shame our state has suffered with our governor’s arrest, impeachment and subsequent talk-show circuit tour brought the irresistibly eccentric Rod […]

Years ago, when I was new in town and causing trouble, Rich Miller phoned me, out of the blue, and invited me to lunch. As I recall, he gave me something like 15 minutes notice to show up at a downtown restaurant. I figured his real lunch appointment must have canceled and I was a […]

This time of year, when you can offend one person by saying “Merry Christmas” and tick off the next with “Happy Holidays,” it’s nice to know you can still count on karma, that spiritual version of what goes around, comes around. Take, for example, Dorothy Milford, first introduced to Illinois Times readers in April 2007, […]

I should’ve known there was something sick about this state. After all, this is Illinois; it isn’t Wellinois. Ever since I moved here, two phrases have grated on my ears like fingernails on a chalkboard. One is, “But that’s the way we’ve always done it.” The other is its kissing cousin, “Anyway, it’s like that […]

My baby Evan has always had a million dollar smile. I’m not saying that because I’m his mom; everybody with normal eyesight notices. It’s not just his perfectly aligned milk-white teeth, set off by his mocha skin; it’s not even the dimples in each cheek. The essence comes from the gleam in his eyes and […]

As I write this, I have been up all night. My feet are throbbing, my legs feel like they’re made of old recycled tire rubber and my back has seized up so stiff that it hurts to stretch. I just made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich — for breakfast. And I am the […]

Here’s one of the most embarrassing moments of my life: My parents were visiting, and after dinner, we lingered around the table to chat. My son Milo, then 3, entertained himself with a footstool and a canister lid. Sitting on the footstool and holding the lid, he pretended to be driving a car. From his […]

Kris Armour never realized how much she enjoyed spending her afternoon break strolling to Del’s Popcorn Shop and ordering a vanilla-infused soda pop. The treat became such a habit that Armour bought a special Del’s mug entitling her to discounted refills. With that mug, her cola fix cost a mere buck plus change. Last week, […]

A friend of mine recently called Barack Obama. Just dialed his cell number, then fell off his chair when the potential president actually answered. My friend freaked and clicked off without saying anything — stunned that the Democratic nominee for POTUS would personally pick up the telephone. That’s how it is here in Illinois: most […]

At least one float in tonight’s Illinois State Fair parade is going to look like trash. I know, because I saw it Monday afternoon. Designed to suggest a state capitol building, it consists of two main parts — a basic boxy structure and a dome. When I stopped by to see it, the boxy base […]

Untitled Document Because she doesn’t want her name used, I’m going to call her Sue. For more than 10 years Sue has worked for a drug-abuse and mental-illness treatment center in Decatur. Her job is administrative; she doesn’t deal directly with patients — at least not at work — but Sue has a drug-addicted son […]