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Wait till you hear about the gifts I gave to some of
America’s power elites for Christmas. To each of our Congresscritters I
sent my fondest wish that from now on they receive the exact same income,
health care, and pensions that we average citizens get. It might make them
a bit more humble — and less willing to ignore the needs of regular
folks. For America’s CEOs, my gift
is a beautifully boxed brand-new set of corporate ethics. It’s called
the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you.” Going to pollute someone’s neighborhood? Then you have to
live there, too. Going to slash wages and benefits? Then slash yours as
well. Going to move your manufacturing to sweatshops in China? Then put
your office right inside the worst sweatshop. Executive life won’t be
as luxurious, but CEOs would enjoy a new purity of spirit. For George W. and his cohort
“Buckshot” Cheney I sent some tonics they can take to help them
come clean when congressional investigators and grand juries get into their
White House files. Confession, after all, can be good for the soul. For Democratic leaders in
Congress and the Democratic presidential aspirants, I sent jumbo glue guns
so they can stiffen their spines. With regular injections, the party might
finally stand up to Bush’s imperial presidency and to corporate
kleptocracy in Washington. For Republican presidential
candidates I sent memberships in the “Reality of the Month
Club,” which will deliver a new bottle of real-world experience each
month. By either drinking these elixirs or rubbing them into their scalps
they can reduce their ideological fantasies and gradually ease their way
toward sanity. If the power elites accept these
gifts, we’ll all have a happier New Year!
Jim Hightower is a national radio commentator,
columnist, and author.
This article appears in Dec 20-26, 2007.
