Isn’t it just pure pleasure to fly the friendly
skies these days? I’m sure there are mule trains that offer more joy
per mile.
I know that airlines have been hard hit financially.
But what management genius decided to cut back on employees that serve the
public, eliminate everything from meals to movies, jam people onto the
planes like chickens in a cage, and even take away those little pillows
that offered a modicum of comfort? And then, to add insult to injury,
decide to run TV ads that show delighted customers and happy-go-lucky
workers skipping along together and singing
“zip-a-dee-doo-dah”?
Yet we might soon remember the unpleasantness of
today’s air travel as the good ol’ days: The industry’s
bosses are scheming to find new ways to do less for customers while
charging more. For example, why should you get a seat that reclines and has
padded armrests for nothing, you bum? Airlines are thinking they could
charge extra for such frills. Also, although the companies already are
charging passengers for boxed lunches, they’re now looking at the
revenue possibilities of adding a fee for you to use a tray table. Luxury
isn’t free, bucko.
Then there are your bags. Why should airlines check,
load, and unload them for nada? Because adding a charge for this is expected to tick off
a whole lot of travelers, the savvy executives are contemplating a phase-in
strategy, beginning by assessing a fee for priority baggage service.
The nickel-and-diming is practically unlimited. Who
says your orange juice should be free? An aisle or window seat could come
at a premium. That flight-attendant call button and the little air vents
could be equipped with coin slots.
The customer might always be right, but
there’ll be a fee for that in the friendly skies.
This article appears in Apr 14-20, 2005.
