Seven years ago. Cats are OK, as long as one doesn’t humanize them. I believe a cat would make a fine pet if it spent 10 minutes a day doing “frisky tricks,” then left immediately to work a double shift at Bob’s Package Liquor to earn enough to reimburse me for its room and board. […]
Opinion
Posted inOpinion
Guy Noir meets El Presidente
It was a strange, serendipitous Springfield moment, an unlikely conjunction of comets and pinto beans. But it happened last Tuesday afternoon, just as the downtown parking garages relieved themselves and the September sun dipped below the capitol minarets. Garrison Keillor — bestselling author, national columnist, and rhapsodic host of A Prairie Home Companion and The […]
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A dash illegal
Their business was database development: Ulee Bob Waxon handled the people side, Yanks Avatar did all things technical. As Yanks measured it, he worked 80-hour weeks; Ulee did 10. Nonetheless, Yanks needed Ulee, for Yanks lived completely inside technology and struggled to communicate with other human beings. He did not understand the programming code for […]
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Pull the plug
As an artist exhibiting at the Old Capitol Art Fair, I displayed a print of the Orpheum Theater, which was torn down in 1965. On seeing the print, many people remarked about what a great loss it was that Springfield’s largest and most majestic theater was demolished. In hindsight this is obvious; today, no one […]
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State government as business
It’s time to take the governor at his word and run state government as a business. As always, a nationwide search has been initiated to produce a blue-ribbon committee to establish the course of action. The governor’s last nationwide search, as you may recall, found an Elvis impersonator and Megan Harlow, ex-showgirl trophy wife of […]
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Killing our enemies
Like most people, I reacted with revulsion, not shock, to evangelist Pat Robertson’s suggestion that we assassinate Venezuela’s president. Robertson, after all, has a record of saying things that thoughtful folks wouldn’t. That’s why he’s largely ignored — most media organizations tune out the rants of TV preachers and most talk-show hosts. In this case, […]
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Solving Chief Illiniwek
Given the recent NCAA ruling regarding Native American-themed sports mascots, it was time to call in the big guns, the committee of the highest rank: Yanks Avatar, Knuckles Kloof, Tom “Snorts” Sullivan, and Sam “Frog” O’Malley, Illini fans for 40 years each. Knights of truth and reason. Social scholars. Enlightened four. Sportsmen sensitive. Giant but […]
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A final passage
He was always “the strong one” — strong in body, in spirit, in intellect, able to quickly weigh alternatives and act in swift and decisive fashion. Thomas Mencken could strip business process down to bare essentials and construct decision tables in his mind while other parties to the puzzle were still verbalizing generalities. Sixty-five and […]
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common sense
Isn’t it obvious by now that President George W. Bush is totally lost in Iraq, without a clue of how to get out? Instead of a coherent Iraq policy, Bush relies on political one-liners. His most infamous was “mission accomplished,” but, for me, the most disgusting was his response two years ago when he was […]
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Sticks and stones
Catching up on some light reading, I tripped over a piece about our presidential museum in the Weekly Standard, Rupert Murdoch’s answer to political magazines such as The Nation and the New Republic. Andrew Ferguson, a senior editor at the magazine, gauged reaction to the museum, focusing on Springfield’s response to Chicago Tribune architecture critic Blair […]
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common sense
U.S. officials have stumbled down a meandering trail of denials regarding this deadly meat-borne disease. When mad-cow disease was first detected in British cattle, the official line was that the brain-destroying disease could not be transferred from cows to humans, so not to worry — eat your burgers. Then, when Brits began to die after […]
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capital voices
This week, I’m asked to say what I have to say in 725 words — 800 words are too many, 700 too few. Today’s topic is women. No 700-word problem here, for I’ve been observing women now for 65 years, and, in my teens and twenties, my observation was nearly a full-time occupation. Here, then, […]
