While was sitting in the dark on the night of the
tornadoes, I realized that the topic for my next column was right in front
of me. The disaster genre has given us some substantial hits over the years
but very little in terms of quality. Why worry about a hackneyed soap-opera
plot when it can all be buried under special effects? The onslaught began with Airport (1970), which only partially
fits into the genre. Next up was The Poseidon
Adventure (1972), a film that sacrifices
scientific reality to propel an inane plot. A giant tidal wave capsizes a
luxury liner, and the crew and passengers fight to reach the bottom. Along
the way to survival, the intrepid characters are required to stop every few
minutes for a petty argument. Science is what ultimately sinks Poseidon. Experts claim that a tidal wave cannot capsize a ship
in open water, and that it would merely create an increase in the water
level. The real damage occurs on the shore. In fact, with enough warning,
ships are taken out to sea, where they are safer. Earthquake (1974) was
the next big one, and it is even worse. The special effects are too shoddy
to cover up the wretched script. The Towering
Inferno (1974) proved the most successful
disaster film of all, and it is only marginally better than Poseidon. Scientific stupidity
is held back until the end, and it would be a spoiler to reveal it. Twister (1996) is the one that
strikes closest to home. The special effects are simply breathtaking. Few
images can grab your attention as a funnel cloud can. Twister could have been a great film
if the two stars had just shut their mouths and done their jobs as storm
chasers. Do we really need to hear the endless bickering between Helen Hunt
and Bill Paxton about their failed marriage? Who cares? Let’s see
more flying cows. Philip Seymour Hoffman, this year’s Best Actor
winner, appears as one of the less annoying chasers. Disaster movies are back. The Day After Tomorrow (2004), which
isn’t that horrible, jumpstarted the recent trend, and we’re
being threatened with the remake Poseidon in May.
Available on DVD this Tuesday (March 28): King Kong and Get Rich or Die Tryin’.
This article appears in Mar 23-29, 2006.
