Parenting is a lifelong venture with many rewards. But we may find ourselves parenting our parents if health issues require continued care. “There were 33.9 million family caregivers of elders in 2004, and it is projected that there will be 81 million by 2050,” states The Caregiver’s Handbook, a supplement to the PBS documentary Caring for Your Parents, both excellent resources.
Where to begin
The first task for families dealing with role transitions is to talk, recommends The Caregiver’s Handbook, found at the Area Agency on Aging for Lincolnland’s website. Everyone should discuss their wishes for health care and personal matters in case anything should happen. How do you feel about help in the home, assisted-living facilities, life-prolonging machines? Where do you keep important financial papers or your living will?
Finding the right care environment
Springfield resident Jean Staff never thought at 69 she’d have to depend on her children. After several operations and debilitating diseases, she is unable to walk far. Fortunately, her children drive her to doctor appointments, pick up prescriptions and groceries, check on her and provide emotional support. They also advocate for her, a benefit she really appreciates because it helps maintain her dignity when she feels dismissed by others. So far she has been able to stay in her home.
But some who live at home need more help. Options are adult day services, home personal care and homemaker assistants, daily living aids, programs and more. From private to state-run options, even low-income seniors have many services at their disposal. And for those needing the skilled care or benefits of a nursing home or retirement community, there is help for families.
The Illinois Department on Aging and AAAL, mentioned above, are treasure troves of info. Providing assistance to families who care for an older adult, they offer home services, a resource center, support groups, senior transportation, home-delivered meals, prescription drug programs, senior activities, caregiver support and respite.
Addus Adult Day Center offers respite, homecare services and, most important for those who stay at home, adult care services. Director Mary Jennings hopes families come to understand that day service is a good alternative to a nursing home. Mom can live with you and attend the center when you work. Or Dad can attend once a week and enjoy quality activities, including outings. Jennings implores folks to visit and see for themselves Addus’ loving and stimulating atmosphere. Other options for homecare are through Memorial Home Services, Homebound Healthcare and Community Care Systems, Inc.
Online resources are a click away, too. One free elder care referral service is at caregiverlist.com. They offer topics like driver’s license laws, nursing home ombudsman, background check laws for hiring home assistants, nursing home costs and ratings and more.
More helpful services,
devices and equipment
A good resource for accessibility issues is The Illinois Assistive Technology Program. They have lots of devices to aid with daily living on display in a large showroom. You can visit, try items such as adaptable devices for phones or magnifiers, or take them home on loan. Publications such as The Second Sixty Years: Aging at Home: Assistive Technology for Older Adults are on-site and online.
Springfield Center for Independent Living serves people with disabilities, too. The agency offers housing assistance, personal advocacy, low vision equipment, technology assistance, assistance with ramps and home modifications, support groups and free amplified telephones. It maintains a small used equipment list. Retailers selling accessable equipment are Memorial Home Services, Personal Mobility, and Vono Pharmacy and Medical Supply. Walgreens now stocks many small items such as commode liners, canes and chair comfort pads.
It’s always a good idea for those with limited mobility who will spend hours alone to have a medical alert system. This button, usually worn around the neck, can be pushed in times of need. A service contacts the user via a monitor that was previously installed in the home, and asks if they need help. If unresponsive, the service phones three contacts who can check on the person. As a last resort, local emergency services are called. The system offers peace of mind to many.
Another program is Third Age Living, a St. John’s Hospital program for older adults and their families. Like many churches and local colleges offering support groups and exercise classes, they are committed to helping older persons age well and remain independent, healthy and productive.
Transportation needs
The Springfield Senior Center on Mason Street provides a senior transport service. It is very affordable and the van drivers are friendly and helpful. Or those with disabilities can use Access Springfield. The Senior Center also provides Daily Bread meal delivery, money management, elder assistance services, information and assistance, comprehensive care, elder abuse and neglect investigations and activities for seniors.
Caring for everyone
Jean Staff states that role transitions are “not something that happens in the bat of an eye, it’s more of a process.” She and her caregiver children advise venting without recrimination, practicing patience, humor and respectfulness, listening well and being kind.
Giving and receiving any level of care can be taxing, considering the toll loss of independence takes on aging parents and the strain of added responsibility on children. Caregivers need to ensure they maintain their own emotional and physical health while taking good care of their parents.
This article appears in Capital City Parent January 2013.
