This is the time of year when people gather together to celebrate the holidays. For six local families, the focus is on teaching their children the true meaning of the holidays and passing down their values through their traditions. It’s important for each to preserve their religious heritage and to raise their children the way they were brought up.
The meaning of Christmas
Al and Michelle Lee, members of Laurel United Methodist Church, want their kids to know about different cultures. “We want our kids to know that everyone celebrates in their own way,” said Al.
Their youngest, Michael, said Christmas means when God’s son was born. “God watches out for us,” he said.
The couple believes in giving and passes that on to their children. “It makes us better human beings,” said Al. The church makes it easy for them to give.
“Our kids ask for opportunities to give to others,” said Michelle. The family picks a star off the star tree at church and buys a gift for an underprivileged boy or girl.
The family tries to ignore the commercialization of Christmas. “Our kids aren’t huge askers,” said Michelle. But St. Nicholas is part of their holiday traditions.
“St. Nicholas introduced gift giving at Christmas,” said Al. He was a Christian saint who humanized gift giving. “We give gifts to celebrate the birth of Jesus.”
The couple wants their children to be aware of God and their Christian heritage. “We’re trying to raise loving, kind, gentle children,” said Michelle. “So far, so good.”
Their daughter, Olivia, said Christmas is about people getting together with family. “It’s about spending time together,” she said.
“We’re lucky to have parents like them,” said their oldest, CarolAnn. “If we had normal parents we would never have learned these things.”
Kelly Settlemoir loves Christmas. She and her husband, Curt, not only teach their boys – Caden, Cole and Kieron – about the real meaning of Christmas but incorporate Santa as well. “I grew up in a house that did both,” she said. “We focus on the birth of Jesus.”
They talk about the real meaning of Christmas. “It can be hard for the kiddos to grasp,” said Kelly. “They ask questions like: ‘Why can’t you see God?’ It can be hard to explain.”
The couple focuses on giving to others. This can be a hard conversation. Her children ask: “Why is this family struggling?” or “Why don’t they have coats?” or “Why don’t they have food?”
Her kids are still wrapped up in Santa. It’s a constant battle to balance Santa with the real meaning of Christmas. The boys already have their wish lists. At the same time, they like to give. “I don’t fault them if I see them with the toy catalogue circling things,” said Kelly.
“It can be just as exciting to bless someone else,” she added.
For Michael and Megan Strohm, Christmas is about family. The tradition started when Mike proposed to her on Christmas. “Christmas morning is only about Mike and myself and the boys,” she said. “We have to make ourselves put ourselves first. That’s hard to do.”
Family is very important to them. The couple sets aside days to spend one-on-one time with their children – Clayson and Dirkson. There are even times when they put life on hold and ignore the holidays altogether. “It’s important to not get caught up in the shopping, planning and cooking,” said Megan.
The couple also makes room for Mommy and Daddy time when they step away to remember why they wanted to be together.
Christmas is about more than Santa Claus. It’s about Jesus and his birth. “It was engrained in me,” said Megan. “We take time to remember why we have the holiday.”
It’s an uphill battle. Clayson has already made his list “We impress upon him that even if he wants something, that doesn’t mean he’s going to get it,” said Megan.
The couple tries to lead by example. Christmas is about giving. Every year, the couple buys presents to donate. This year they plan on letting Clayson pick out a present.
The family attends Laurel United Methodist Church. “It grounds us,” she said. Clayson is a big Thomas the Train fan. This year, rather than buying him another toy train, she and Michael are figuring out how to do something that will be meaningful. “We want to buy train tickets and go somewhere,” she said.
“Christmas is about memories,” added Megan.
Hanukkah,
a simple holiday
Kim Knuuti and her husband, Zvi Pasman, want to lay a foundation for their children – Sam, Hannah and Nate. The family goes to synagogue at Temple Israel.
Jews are a minority here. “It’s challenging for the kids to walk up and down the street and see lights,” said Kim. “They can’t escape it.” It takes perseverance to keep their kids Jewish.
Their kids pretty much know who Santa is. The couple tells them Santa only visits people who go to church.
This year Hanukkah begins at sunset Dec. 16 and lasts eight days. The family lights candles and places the menorah in the window in remembrance of what the Jews went through and say prayers. They give their children six gifts and set aside one day to give something away and one day to make cookies to give away. The family decides ahead of time who to give something to and the children get $20 to spend.
The family tries to live according to the Ten Commandments. These are the same whether you are a Christian or a Jew. “They are fine things to live by,” said Kim. “There are fundamental laws to live by.”
Her kids like Hanukkah. “They get excited over it,” said Kim. “It’s a simple holiday.
“It brings us closer together as a family,” she added. As her kids get older, there is more competition for their time. “It’s hard to find time together.
“They’re just regular kids,” she added.
“Hanukkah is exciting for the children,” said Julie Nathanson-Abrams. She remembers what it was like when she was little. “I see the same joy and excitement in their eyes.”
She and her husband, Rob, and their sons gather to light the menorah, eat special foods and open gifts. The family has two menorahs. Each boy wanted to light the candles so now they can each pick their own candle colors.
Family is important. “I love my family,” said the oldest, Harrison. “I feel comfortable around them and I feel more Jewish.”
It’s important for the couple to share their traditions with their children. “It’s easy to forego Jewish traditions,” said Rob. “Our lives are so much busier. We have to work really hard to maintain our traditions. It connects us with the people who came before us.”
Her sons don’t get gifts every night. This year they are choosing a Santa letter from an underprivileged child. “We discuss what to give, who it will go to and how lucky we are to have what we have,” said Julie. “We focus on how little someone has.”
“It’s really fun to open presents,” said the youngest, Zachary. He doesn’t feel left out at Christmas. “I have my own wish list.”
The couple goes to synagogue at Temple B’rith Sholom and is teaching their sons about giving back to the community. “Giving back is very important,” said Julie. She visits her sons’ classrooms and brings dreidels. “I want my boys to be proud of who they are.
“They’re good kids,” she continued. “I’m proud of the young men they are becoming.”
Kwanzaa brings
people together
The word Kwanzaa means first fruits. It’s all about growing fruit. It was founded to bring blacks together. “The 60s were a horrific time for people of color,” said Doris Chambers. “We needed something to keep us together as a people.”
It focuses on seven principles: unity, self-determination, cooperative economics, collective work and responsibility, creativity, purpose and faith. This year it starts on Dec. 26 and runs through Jan. 1.
“My mother was one of my role models,” said Doris. “She taught me the principles.” Her mother raised her to stay in school and to do something with her life. “She told me: ‘God put you here for a purpose.’ ”
Kwanzaa is a time for people to come together and celebrate how we are connected to one another, regardless of background, skin color, faith or economic status.
The principles are an integral part of her life. “It’s what I live by,” said Doris. She passed them down to her children and grandchildren. “We need to teach them to our children,” she said. “We have a generation coming up with no sense of direction.” She sees mothers who don’t want fathers to be part of their children’s lives. “Boys need their dad,” said Doris.
Each person celebrates Kwanzaa in their own way “What you put into it you get back from it,” said Doris. It all starts with unity.
“People know you by the fruit you bear,” said Doris.
Roberta Codemo is a Springfield-based freelance writer. She lives with her cat, Coal, and is a great-aunt and aunt to three nieces and one nephew. She can be reached at rcodemo@hotmail.com.
This article appears in Capital City Parent October 2014.
