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The skeleton is for sale; the hearse is not.

Shawn McKinney says he’s made grown men fall to their knees in terror. Once
he even had a teenage girl lose control of her bladder.

He dismisses such shocking tales as commonplace events at Terror on the Square,
his haunted house in a former funeral parlor in downtown Petersburg. People
have been known to walk through with their eyes closed the whole time, missing
all of the gags they had paid to see. McKinney says many of his hired hands
are too spooked to enter the building alone. Customers have come all the way
from Chicago and St. Louis, and McKinney says they swear he runs the best haunted
house ever.

McKinney thinks of himself as a theater artist and set designer. He wants
to elevate the haunted house to an art form. He’s spent years perfecting “hologram-like”
effects, inspired by Disney World’s Haunted Mansion in Florida. Guests trip
sensors that switch on an array of lights and noises. Still, his tricks mostly
depend on old-fashioned stagecraft. McKinney’s 40-member crew is well-rehearsed;
everything is timed down to the second. And if McKinney overhears your conversation
outside, he will try to exploit it. Whispering voices may sneak up behind you
and call out your name.

“I like doing unique things no one else is doing, or putting a twist on something,”
says McKinney, who by day is a warehouse and inventory control manager at the
U.S. Electric Company in Springfield.

He says traditional haunted houses try to take visitors by surprise, yet they
all seem to rely on the same ploys: a monster jumps from a dark corner, a skeleton
pops out of a coffin, a man with a chainsaw chases you.

“But really good scares depend on a variety of fears,” he says. “People have
a lot of fears–of ghosts, heights, snakes–not just of a monster jumping out
of the dark ten times.”

Terror on the Square, in other words, takes a more holistic approach–it aims
to spook the complete person.

McKinney, 41, has been in the haunted house business since he was 9, when
he turned his parents’ home into one. (They eventually forced him out to the
yard). For years he helped the local Jaycees with their haunted house and eventually
served as the club’s chairman. Then 11 years ago he ventured out on his own,
renting the building on the west side of the square. It had been vacant for
decades but was a funeral parlor until the 1940s. An embalming certificate from
1925 hangs on a wall. An archway leading to the old visitation room still bears
an inscription: “Love never faileth.” Several years ago McKinney had a dream
about buying a hearse. He thought it was a good idea, so he went shopping. He
found one about 21 miles north in Mason City. He later discovered paperwork
in a compartment showing that the car had once been owned by the Petersburg
funeral home.

McKinney doesn’t use the first floor. There’s a Terror on the Square gift
shop on the second–shot glasses, T-shirts, fangs, Halloween lingerie, skeleton
key rings. “I didn’t want junky,” McKinney says of his inventory. “I wanted
class.”

The haunted house mainly occupies the third floor, where it extends into buildings
on either side. He figures he’s invested at least $100,000 since opening day.
To keep up with the latest in scare tactics, he subscribes to a trade publication,
Haunted Attraction, and attends a haunted house convention held every
March upstate in Rosemont. While he makes a profit, he says he plows most of
it back into next year’s show.

The whole enterprise is a creative outlet, McKinney says. “I have all these
ideas. It’s so hard to cut them off and only do this much. Every year I want
it to be better than the last. There’s no limits to Halloween.” u

Terror on the Square is open 7 to 11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays October
10 through November 1, and 7 to 10 p.m. Sunday, October 26, and Thursday, October
30. Admission is $7 for adults, $5 for kids 12 and younger. Not recommended
for children under six. Lines can be long, so expect to wait your turn. Advance
tickets can also be purchased at White’s Marathon gas station on Route 97 coming
in to Petersburg from Springfield. For more info, visit www.terrorontheweb.com.

Halloween Happenings

Boo Crew, Rochester Lions Club Charity Haunted House, Old Firehouse,
125 Main Street, Rochester, October 24-November 1, 6:30-10 p.m. Closed Tuesday.
www.boocrew.com

Clinton Haunted House, 513 E. Washington, Clinton (935-3364), October
16-18, 24-26, and 30-31, at 7 p.m.Young children’s night, October 25,
5-6 p.m. $6.

Garden of the Goblins, Washington Park Botanical Garden, October 26,
noon-3 p.m., for children 12 and under, 50 cents (753-6228).

Ghost Train and Haunted Boxcar, Monticello Railway Museum. Monticello
(800-952-3396), October 18-19, 24-26. Trains depart on the half hour from 7
to 9 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, 7 to 8 p.m. on Sunday. Children’s matinees
1 to 3 p.m. October 18 and 26.

Haints, Ghosts, & Suchlike Campfire Tales, Homestead Prairie Farm,
Decatur (423-7708), October 25, 7-8 p.m.

Halloween Fun Fest, Rec Center, Lincoln Park District, Lincoln (732-8770),
October 30, 6-8 p.m., children preschool through 6th grade.

Halloween Parade and Antique Farm Show, Litchfield (324-5443), October
26, noon-4 p.m., parade at 4.

Hall-zoo-Ween, Glen Oak Zoo, Peoria (309-681-0696), October 17-18,
5:30-8:30 p.m., for children 10 and under.

Haunted Zoo, Henson Robinson Zoo, Lake Springfield (753-6217), October
28-31, 6-8 p.m., tour of the zoo with a scary story, $1.50 adults, 75 cents
children.

Terror on the Square, Petersburg(632-2731), October 10-11,
17-18, 24-26, and 30-31,7 -11 p.m., till 10 p.m. October 26 and 30.
$7 adults, $5 children under 12. www.terrorontheweb.com

Trail of Terror, Whitley Creek Recreation Area, Lake Shelbyville, October
25 (774-3313), a walk through the haunted woods.

“Where Are the Wild Things?” Illinois State Armory (782-5993), October
26, noon-4 p.m., trick or treat safari for children 12 and under, $2.

Zoolie Ghoulie, Henson Robinson Zoo, Lake Springfield (753-6217), October
25-26, 2-6 p.m., trick or treat at the zoo, $2.

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