Thanks to Grover Norquist, the Republican lobbyist
and right-wing anti-government guru, the world has just gotten weirder. Along with Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay, Norquist
developed the “K Street Project” in the 1990s. It was an effort
to require corporate lobbying firms, which are mostly headquartered along
Washington’s K Street, to hire partisan Republicans as their
lobbyists and to give the preponderance of their campaign donations to the
GOP. The unwritten quid pro quo of the project was that corporations that
played this game of footsie could expect a friendly reception for their
legislative agendas.
As you might expect, this quickly devolved into
a system of thinly veiled bribery, with lawmakers trading legislative
favors for lobbyists’ cash. The term “K Street Project”
has now become a political pejorative, an iconic brand name for big-money
corruption in Washington. This negative PR for his pet project has mightily
upset Norquist, so he is trying to trademark the phrase “K Street
Project” — and he says he’ll sue the pants off of anyone
who uses it as a symbol of unethical behavior. And you thought that Republicans were opposed to
frivolous lawsuits! No, they only oppose your lawsuits — as a group, corporate Republicans
are the most litigious bunch in America. Perhaps Norquist also should trademark “Wall
Street” or “Madison Avenue” — both have a negative
connotation to much of the country, and Norquist could keep a whole circus
of lawyers busy suing folks who speak badly of his trademarked streets. A fun-loving group called the Talent Show has
suggested that Norquist should use his trademark to market a line of
appropriate products: gold cufflinks, money clips, paper shredders —
and why not orange jumpsuits for the well-dressed lobbyist’s jail
term? Let the weirdness flow.
This article appears in May 18-24, 2006.
