It’s now officially true: Nothing is sacred. Advertising — the ubiquitous bane of our
corporate world — has continued its relentless creep through American
culture and has now found its way onto the stage. Yes, having conquered
movie theaters, ads are now entering the sanctum of the live theater. I
don’t mean the printed ads in the playbill or the corporate logos
that emblazon so many theaters these days. Rather, I mean the intrusive
spoken ad that demands your attention. This latest advance of ad creep made its debut May 23
at 7:55 p.m. at the Orpheum Theater in New York City, just before the
evening’s performance of — appropriately enough — Stomp. The advertisement itself
was a three-minute live performance promoting a British tourist outfit
called Visit London. It featured an actress from the ER television show and had an
onstage couple rhapsodically discussing various tourist attractions. The ad
concluded with an offstage voice delivering the punchline: “Whatever
you like doing, you’ll love doing it in London.”
An official representing the company that created
this intrusive stomping on theater decorum was ecstatic about bringing ads
to this new venue: “They’re a captive audience,” he
crowed about the show’s attendees. “They can’t switch
channels or change over or walk out once the thing has started.” Ah,
yes, that’s the good ol’ “gotcha” attitude of
corporate commercialism! With this breakthrough, you know it won’t be
long before corporate advertisers match the theater presentation with their
products. Why wouldn’t Stomp, for example, be a perfect fit for Nike, or maybe even
Desenex, the athlete’s-foot preparation? The creep goes on! Look for ads coming soon to your
church — maybe holy water branded by Coca-Cola or the sacrament
itself sponsored by McDonald’s. Truly, nothing is sacred.
This article appears in Jun 29 – Jul 5, 2006.
