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Tea for two needs cake. So do Grandma, your pals from
work, and all of the other lonely hearts sticking out their tongues
at this lovers-only holiday. With or without an admirer, one needs an antidote for
the irrepressibly goopy love stuff taking center stage at the local CVS or
Walgreens. Walk on by those bags of cupid-themed M&Ms and pick up a few
bottles of red food coloring instead. No, we’re not paintballing
lovebirds; we’re making red velvet cake.
On the basis of color contrast alone, the velvet cake
is like
no other.
Beef tartare-shaded layers get a coat of stark-white cream cheese frosting
that is so bright you may need sunglasses. The combination is shocking,
strangely beautiful, and kind of sexy — like hotpants and white go-go
boots.
Allow yourself two hours for both cake and frosting,
but please don’t doll up this beauty until the cake is completely
cooled. A flat-edged pastry spreader is useful, but I’ve used a wide
serrated knife with decent success.
We all deserve a sex-kitten moment every once in a
while. Preheat those ovens,
pronto.
Culinary questions? Contact Kim O’Donnel at
kim.odonnel@creativeloafing.com.

REDVELVETVALENTINE’SCAKE Adapted from James
McNair’s Cakes
by James McNair

2 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder 2 teaspoons cinnamon 1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder 1/4 teaspoon baking soda 3/4 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup (one-and-a-half sticks) unsalted butter, at      room temperature 1 1/2 cups sugar Two eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten 2 teaspoons vanilla extract Two bottles (1 ounce each) red liquid food coloring 1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
Grease the bottoms and sides of two 9-inch round cake
pans and line them with circles of parchment paper. (Plan B: Grease and
flour pans.)
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Over a medium bowl, sift the flour, cocoa powder,
cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir to mix well and set
the bowl aside.
In a bowl with a hand mixer, beat the butter at
medium speed until creamy, about one minute. With the mixer still running,
slowly add the sugar. Occasionally stop the mixer to scrape the sides of
the bowl. Beat until the mixture is light and fluffy, about five minutes.
Slowly drizzle in the eggs and beat until they’re mixed well,
remembering to scrape the sides of bowl. Add the vanilla and food coloring.
Using the mixer on low speed or a rubber spatula, begin to incorporate
about one-third of the dry ingredients, alternating with half of the
buttermilk. Continue to alternate dry with wet, ending with the remaining
flour mixture, until ingredients are incorporated.
Divide the batter evenly between pans and with a
spatula make sure that it is evenly distributed. Place each pan on a baking
sheet and bake until a wooden skewer inserted in the center comes out
clean, about 25 minutes. Remove the pans and cool them for about 20
minutes, then invert them onto wire racks to cool completely. While the
cake layers cool, make frosting.

CREAMCHEESEFROSTING Also from James
McNair’s Cakes

3/4 cup (one-and-a-half sticks) unsalted butter,    room temperature Two 8-ounce bricks (1 pound) cream cheese, chilled 2 teaspoons vanilla extract Pinch of salt 2 cups powdered sugar, sifted Optional: light cream or milk, if needed
In a mixing bowl, beat the butter with a mixer until
it’s fluffy. Add the cream cheese, vanilla, and salt, beating at low
speed, just until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Don’t overbeat;
the cream cheese will get thin and runny. Using a rubber spatula, scrape
the sides of the bowl. Add 1 cup of sugar and beat on low. Add the
remaining cup and beat until just smooth and spreadable; taste for
sweetness and consistency. If the icing is too thick, add a little light
cream or milk. Use immediately or cover and refrigerate. When you’re
ready to use the frosting, allow it to warm up to room temperature. Makes a
generous amount for a two-layer cake.

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