There’s a small celebrity associated with writing words that find public display; for instance, a few folks have asked me for writing advice. Of course, what they mean but are too kind to say is, “I have a wicker chair that can write better than you. I’m 50 times the writer you are, and I […]
Doug Bybee
Doug Bybee is a retired state-government employee in Springfield. When he isn’t writing essays, he is working on the great American novel.
Posted inOpinion
Taking the most clandestine route
Secrecy was the first order of the Brotherhood, so brothers Harold and Herbert called it Not The Brotherhood. Hob Fadwaddle, the only other “known” member, called it Not Only The Brotherhood. The organization’s purpose was just as secret — or perhaps just as confused. At one time it was vehemently anti-government/pro-conspiracy; now, after 9/11, it […]
Posted inOpinion
Practice cat and sidekick cat
Seven years ago. Cats are OK, as long as one doesn’t humanize them. I believe a cat would make a fine pet if it spent 10 minutes a day doing “frisky tricks,” then left immediately to work a double shift at Bob’s Package Liquor to earn enough to reimburse me for its room and board. […]
Posted inOpinion
A dash illegal
Their business was database development: Ulee Bob Waxon handled the people side, Yanks Avatar did all things technical. As Yanks measured it, he worked 80-hour weeks; Ulee did 10. Nonetheless, Yanks needed Ulee, for Yanks lived completely inside technology and struggled to communicate with other human beings. He did not understand the programming code for […]
Posted inOpinion
State government as business
It’s time to take the governor at his word and run state government as a business. As always, a nationwide search has been initiated to produce a blue-ribbon committee to establish the course of action. The governor’s last nationwide search, as you may recall, found an Elvis impersonator and Megan Harlow, ex-showgirl trophy wife of […]
Posted inOpinion
Solving Chief Illiniwek
Given the recent NCAA ruling regarding Native American-themed sports mascots, it was time to call in the big guns, the committee of the highest rank: Yanks Avatar, Knuckles Kloof, Tom “Snorts” Sullivan, and Sam “Frog” O’Malley, Illini fans for 40 years each. Knights of truth and reason. Social scholars. Enlightened four. Sportsmen sensitive. Giant but […]
Posted inOpinion
A final passage
He was always “the strong one” — strong in body, in spirit, in intellect, able to quickly weigh alternatives and act in swift and decisive fashion. Thomas Mencken could strip business process down to bare essentials and construct decision tables in his mind while other parties to the puzzle were still verbalizing generalities. Sixty-five and […]
Posted inOpinion
capital voices
This week, I’m asked to say what I have to say in 725 words — 800 words are too many, 700 too few. Today’s topic is women. No 700-word problem here, for I’ve been observing women now for 65 years, and, in my teens and twenties, my observation was nearly a full-time occupation. Here, then, […]
Posted inOpinion
The ogler’s [sic] secrets
In these times when our president struts his bottom-of-college-class standing and our governor jokes of his low ACT score, I find it easier to admit my language ignorance. Of course, our academic failures are not our fault but, rather, the fault of our respective educational systems. And I, for one, admire both the president and […]
Posted inOpinion
capital voices 6-30-05
Yanks Avatar is caught between liberal and conservative, and he’s making mistakes. He is, I suspect, not much different from other folks who can reach out and touch their midsixties. Once he was liberal; he’s now leaning conservative. However, in Yanks’ case, his “leaning conservative” brings him only to the middle, for he was, in […]
Posted inOpinion
capital voices 6-16-05
He was Billy Mack See-Inside because it was the name he wanted and what he could do. He could see inside living trees, feel time as it was when each ring was newborn. Weather permitting, he came by every Saturday, stayed an hour, told his secrets, then lumbered on to his other worlds. His uniform […]
Posted inOpinion
capital voices 6-2-05
It’s that time of year again — time for local media to spend away its space rehashing the Cubs-versus-Cards argument. The dispute rages: Better team? Better fans? Better ballpark? Better peanut vendor? Better parking? Better neighborhood? Better scoreboard? As interesting, one supposes, as the always topical “What’s smarter, pig or dog?” Let us now settle […]
