My girlfriend is constantly late, which is annoying, but what’s more annoying is that there’s always an excuse: She had to do one more thing at work; traffic was horrible; her dog wouldn’t pee, so she had to walk him longer; she couldn’t get somebody off the phone. She always apologizes and is always late […]
Amy Alkon
Posted inArts & Culture
The audacity of grope
My friend’s girlfriend hits on me all the time. (We’re all lesbians.) She always offers to get me a drink before she gets her girlfriend one, and she’s taken to giving me quick shoulder rubs and stomach pokes. The other night was really bad. A bunch of us were seated around a big table, and […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Tail from the crypt
I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. I do have trust issues, having been cheated on in past relationships. My boyfriend’s best friend of six years, a beautiful and intelligent woman, passed away three months ago. Since then, he has visited her grave weekly and kept a photo of them together posted online. When […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Smells like libertine spirit
I got involved with my co-host on my Web show – a woman in an “open relationship” with her live-in boyfriend of two years. Things were light and fun between us until we developed actual feelings for each other and he got jealous and she became guilty and torn. Two weeks ago, after we had […]
Posted inArts & Culture
In sickness and in stealth
This woman and I were involved 13 years ago, before I met my wife, but she was married then. She got divorced and moved away. We reconnected recently on Facebook, and I discovered she’s now only 20 miles away. I told her I’m happily married and I’ve never cheated on my wife, but I would […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Fry, fry again
I walked into my apartment and, to my horror, thought my boyfriend had been electrocuted. He was sprawled on the kitchen floor by an open electrical outlet with wires sticking out. There was a screwdriver near him, and the skin on his arm and hand was discolored. I ran over and started crying and shaking […]
Posted inArts & Culture
When you wish upon a sleazebucket
I was seeing a guy for four months – a guy I liked better than I’ve ever liked anyone. Two months in, he was calling me his girlfriend, putting me on the phone with his mom, and saying that I shouldn’t look to be dating other people. Yet, I noticed that he remained on the […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Will you flash mob me?
I’m going to propose to my girlfriend, and it seems there’s this trend of doing crazy, elaborate things to ask a girl to marry you. I can’t compete with guys like the New York City dude I just read about who threw down $45,000 to pop the question. But even if friends help me out […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Stammer time
I can’t talk to really pretty girls. If I’m talking to a girl I’m not that interested in or a dude, I’m golden. But if I’m attracted to a girl, my thoughts get totally scrambled. After a party, I walked this sweet, gorgeous girl to her car. She said some funny or cute thing about […]
Posted inArts & Culture
The math to true love
You need to tell men to never be the first to say those “three little words.” A woman will tell you she’s ready to hear them by telling you first. It seems the dating gurus agree: When a man says “I love you” first, he throws the attraction physics all off because he lowers his […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Ex-rated movie
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. We were best friends and talked about everything – what our kids would be like, projects we’d do together, magical worlds, and even other people we found attractive. Then, on his computer, I accidentally clicked on what I thought was just some porn video, but I recognized […]
Posted inArts & Culture
Madame ovary
My wife needs a medical test that will involve her being naked in unflattering positions in front of another person, possibly male. I know she won’t enjoy this and it certainly isn’t sexual, but I want her to request a female gynecologist. She says she’s embarrassed to do that, refuses to be controlled by me, […]
