There’s a good movie somewhere in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest — at least I think so. Hack about 45 minutes out of this bloated
testament to excess and you’d have sleek entertainment bolstered by
one of the most impressively mounted productions in recent memory.
Unfortunately, what director Gore Verbinski foists upon his audience is a
scattered, meandering mess of a movie that’s long on action and short
on substance. The script, by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, is far too
complicated for its own good, sending the three main characters from the
first scene hither and yon, only to reunite them in the film’s final
act. The self-serving actions of Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) drive the
plot once again as he’s called upon to repay a debt to Davy Jones
(Bill Nighy). Needless to say, he’s in no hurry to pay up. Meanwhile,
the marriage of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley)
has been interrupted by the arrest of both bride and groom on charges of
treason for helping Sparrow escape hanging. They face execution unless Will
returns with a mysterious compass that Sparrow has in his possession. Cutting back and forth between storylines prevents the
film from ever building up a full head of steam. One exception is a wildly
inventive and entertaining series of scenes that finds Sparrow attempting
to escape a tribe of cannibals while his crew tries to elude their own
grisly fate. These two events collide, with hilarious and astounding
results. Given the stellar production design and impressive
makeup, it’s a shame the film is so poorly executed. Jones’
ghost ship, the Flying Dutchman, is composed of the bodies of those
who’ve served her, and its sails are blackened tatters that portend
doom. The other sets, including Sparrow’s ship and a swamp home
belonging to a voodoo priestess, bring to life the supernatural world
inhabited by these characters. Even more impressive is the makeup where
Jones and his crew are concerned. Each of them is part man, part sea
creature, encrusted in coral, barnacles, and sea slime. Jones himself is a
wonder, more octopus than man, and his first mate, a hammerhead shark
creature is equally impressive. Without question, this is a scary bunch of
lost souls, and parents should be warned that smaller children should be
shielded from them.
In theaters this week. . .
The Devil Wears Prada [PG-13]
Andy Sachs, a homely freshman reporter, lands a job in the competitive
world of fashion magazine journalism. Parkway
Pointe, ShowPlace East
The Fast and the Furious: the Tokyo Drift [PG-13] Shawn Boswell enters the world of fast cars when he moves to Tokyo
to avoid jail. Parkway Pointe Open Caption
An Inconvenient Truth Al
Gore takes on global warming. Parkway Pointe
Nacho Libre [PG] A clumsy
cook needs to make fast cash, so he takes up Mexican wrestling. Parkway Pointe
Over the Hedge [PG] A
shady raccoon persuades other critters to steal food in the suburbs. Parkway Pointe
A Prairie Home Companion [PG-13]
A fictionalized account of Garrison Keillor’s beloved radio show,
featuring crooning cowboys, a country music diva, and others. Parkway Pointe
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest [PG-13] Capt. Jack Sparrow is back to repay a debt to Davy
Jones. ShowPlace West, ShowPlace East
Superman Returns [PG-13]
After an extended hiatus, does the world need Superman? Absolutely! ShowPlace West, ShowPlace East
X-Men: The Last Stand [PG-13] A new cure that reverses
mutations causes tempers to flare in this third and final installment of
the X-Men tale. White Oaks
This article appears in Jul 6-12, 2006.
