Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, an ex-con whose annual scam is to get hired as a department store Santa along with his dwarfish buddy, Marcus (Tony Cox). Their goal: Rip off the place on Christmas Eve and score a take that’s big enough to last the whole year. This Christmas, the plan goes awry. Willie’s drinking is out of control, the head of security (Bernie Mac) is on to them, and a pathetic young boy (Brett Kelly) plucks at the crooks’ heartstrings, making them think twice about pulling off the heist.
That’s the premise of Bad Santa, a film intended as a biting, black
comedy, but one that falls far short of the mark. There’s very little humor
– dark or otherwise – in this mean-spirited embarrassment of a film. And there’s
nothing amusing or endearing in the character of Willie, who serves as a poster
boy for self-destructive behavior, bent on drinking himself to death and sabotaging
every relationship and job he gets.
The lack of humor isn’t the film’s only problem. The story line is fragmented
– a murder is needlessly thrown in, abruptly changing the film’s tone. The characters
are undeveloped. And the feel-good ending is implausible.
After sitting through Bad Santa, I wondered how it was possible that
a talented director (Terry Zwigoff of Ghost World), highly-regarded executive
producers (Joel and Ethan Coen of Fargo), and a noteworthy cast (Thornton,
Mac) could be associated with this abomination. Apparently, they were very bad
boys this year.
While Elf proved to be an unexpected holiday season gift, brimming
with good will and movie magic, Bad Santa is a cinematic lump of coal
that no one deserves.
What other critics are saying. . .
Brother Bear [G] An American Indian gets turned into a bear. “A play-it-safe
pastiche of familiar Disney tropes, from the senseless killing of a poor animal
to the headstrong young adventurer to the ragtag comic relief to … well, you
can fill in the rest.” (Gene Seymour, Newsday) Parkway Pointe
The Cat in the Hat [PG] The popular Dr. Seuss tale comes to life in
a film starring Mike Myers. “Comes scarily close to being the most unendurable
Hollywood creation of the last dozen years.” (Michael Atkinson, Village Voice)ShowPlace West, ShowPlace East
Elf [PG] A giant elf (Will Ferrell) wreaks havoc on an elf community
so he’s sent away to find he true identity. “Wan Christmas concoction.” (Ed
Park, Village Voice) Parkway Pointe, ShowPlace East
Gothika [R] A ghost story, in which a psychiatrist (Halle Berry) wakes
up as a patient with no memory of committing a terrible crime. “Logic is tossed
out the window, chased down the road and abused so roundly that it never comes
back.” (Lawrence Toppman, Charlotte Observer) Parkway Pointe, ShowPlace
East
Haunted Mansion [PG] A ghost teaches a workaholic the importance of
family during a visit to a haunted house.“I know I’ll take some sort
of perverse pleasure in watching Eddie Murphy terrorized by dark spirits.” (Joshua
Tyler, Film Hobbit) ShowPlace West, ShowPlace East
The Human Stain [R] Anthony Hopkins plays the role
of an esteemed classics professor, whose terrible secret is exposed after he
begins an affair with a young troubled janitor (Nicole Kidman). “An impersonation
of a fine movie that never for a moment convinces you that it actually is one.”
(Phoebe Flowers, South
Florida Sun-Sentinel) Parkway Pointe
Looney Tunes: Back in Action [PG] The Looney Tunes cartoon characters
hunt for a man’s missing father and the Blue Diamond. “It will never be confused
with the groundbreaking Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but when it comes to
a zippy live-action-meets-animation kid flick with plenty of grown-up gags,
Looney Tunes: Back in Action does not disappoint.” (Luke Sader, Hollywood
Reporter) ShowPlace West
Love Actually [R] Five weeks before Christmas, and love is in the air
for a large cast of characters who converge in London. “A roundly entertaining
romantic comedy, Love Actually is still nearly as cloying as it is funny.”
(Todd McCarthy, Variety) Parkway Pointe
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World [PG-13]A sailing
tale told against the backdrop of Napoleonic wars. “A rousing high-seas adventure
that sweeps you into another world.” (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone) Parkway
Pointe, ShowPlace East
The Matrix Revolutions [R]Third and final installment of the
Matrix series.“Conclusively proves that the Wachowskis had little
substantial to add to the premise of the 1999 original.” (Rene Rodriguez, Miami
Herald) ShowPlace West
The Missing [R]A father comes back home to reconcile with his
adult daughter in 19th-century New Mexico. “The second good Western of the year
comes, surprisingly, from director Ron Howard.” (Laura Clifford, Reeling
Reviews) ShowPlace West, ShowPlace East
Mystic River [R] Three childhood friends are reunited after one loses a daughter. “A haunting, ambitious but ultimately flawed film that treads some of the same somber moral territory director Clint Eastwood explored in Unforgiven.” (Jonathan Foreman, New York Post) ShowPlace West
Radio [PG] The story of a relationship between a mentally-challenged
man nicknamed “Radio” and a prominent high school football coach. “A lot of
whitewash is poured over a subject solely to wring emotion from the hapless
viewer.” (Jami Bernard, New York Daily News)ShowPlace West
Timeline [PG-13] Archaeological students become trapped in 14th-century France when they go there to retrieve their professor. “The book was mediocre at best… this adaptation is insipid.” (David Foucher, Here Boston) Parkway Pointe, ShowPlace East
This article appears in Nov 20-26, 2003.
