I’m seeing so many women on Instagram who’ve had
themselves made over to be super hot through cosmetic surgery and injectable
fillers. They all have the same face — with big, luscious lips and huge
doll-like eyes. In every shot, they’re in full makeup — crazy eyeliner, tons
of contouring. Do guys actually like this plastic Barbie look? Are guys cool
with cosmetic surgery in general?
–Curious
If only these women of
Instagram were honest in their photo credits: “Hair by Luigi. Makeup by
Annabelle. Face by Dow Corning.”
Countless men insist
that they prefer “the natural look” — no makeup (let alone surgical re-mod) —
yet they never go “Wow…gorgeous!” when you sashay toward them with a face
full of unconcealed pimples. Helpfully, zoologist John R. Krebs and
evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins explain that “living organisms” can
easily be tricked by crude fakes — fakes that bear only the itsy-bitsiest
resemblance to the organisms’ real life stimuli.
They give the example of
what I call “Popsicle birdie” — how “a black-headed gull will show its normal
aggressive response to a stuffed gull’s head mounted on a stick, with no body.”
And then there’s the male stickleback fish, which gets red on the underside when
in mating mode and will attack any other red-bellied male that enters its
territory. In fact, mail also seems to be a
problem — which is to say, a researcher’s male sticklebacks were observed
attacking the side of their aquarium when a red mail van passed by the window
of the lab.
Well, guess what, fellow
humans: We shouldn’t be too quick to feel superior to our friends with beaks,
gills and tails. Krebs and Dawkins note that a man can get “sexually aroused”
by a mere photo of a naked woman. Of course, he knows it isn’t an actual woman,
but the photo “has enough visual stimuli in common with the real thing to have
a similar effect on his physiology.”
Though it’s unlikely
that women getting their faces remade in Klonedashian-esque ways are versed in anthropology,
the enhancements they’re having done align with the female facial features that
anthropologists like Douglas Jones have found are attractive to men across
cultures. These are “neotenous” features — meaning somewhat baby-like ones —
like big eyes, full lips, a small jaw and chin and clear skin. These features
are basically evolution’s billboard, advertising a highly desirable interior —
meaning that they are cues to health and fertility. (Of course, men just think HAWWWT).
However, though men
evolved to prioritize looks in a woman, it’s obviously not all they value —
especially when they’re hoping to get into a relationship. So these
cosmetically and surgically redeveloped features may catch a man’s eye — but
then, mentally, he may take a step back: “Oh, wait — she’s gotten all this
work done.” And beyond how we all tend to feel threatened and even angered by
fakery, many men see a woman’s extensive re-mod as a red flag, reflecting
less-than-healthy psychology — an empty interior hidden behind a fancy paint
job and a new, um, deck.
Also, consider that
women who get their faces and bodies remade often seem to go by the reality TV
standard, which seems to stem from stripper standards — exaggerated
in-your-face sexuality. Research by Cari Goetz that I cited in a recent column
finds that women with an overtly sexual look are generally not seen as
long-term mating material by men. Though that research explored what women wore
— scanty attire — it’s possible that women who wear a pile of makeup, with an
overtly sexual look, would trigger the same reaction in men: basically,
thumbs-up for a hookup or regular sex sessions — not so much on introducing
Mom to a woman who looks as if her work uniform is sequin nipple tassels.
However, there’s a
counterpoint to all of this. Consider that it’s now possible, through medical
innovation, to survive many diseases and conditions that were usually fatal. We
don’t expect people with diseases to do what’s “natural” — suffer terribly and
die. Maybe we’re a little too harsh on women who jump ahead in the beauty
hierarchy through cosmetic procedures. After all, we don’t knock men for using
Rogaine, those little blue pills or deodorant.
Additionally, maybe
stigmatizing any sort of line-jumping stops discussion of the need for
restraint in beauty-upgrading. As I see it, the most successful “work” is the
sort we don’t notice — women who look like themselves, only, uh, “better
rested” or something. Ultimately, if a woman invites a man to meet her closest
relatives, he isn’t at a loss for whether she’s asking him to a family reunion
or to hit the aisle in Home Depot where they sell that expandable foam
insulation stuff that people spray into their walls.
(c)2019, Amy Alkon, all rights
reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica,
CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com. @amyalkon on Twitter. Weekly podcast:blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon
This article appears in Jan 31 – Feb 6, 2019.
