Bar and bat mitzvah – marking the passage to adulthood

Next month I will be marking my 83rd birthday and the 70th anniversary of my bar mitzvah, the ceremony in Judaism marking a young person’s passage to adulthood. In recent times, some Jewish men of my generation, on reaching the age of 83, have been celebrating a second bar mitzvah. Psalm 90 notes that “the days of our years are threescore and ten.” If the years with which we are blessed beyond 70 are a bonus to us, a second lifetime as it were, why not mark the attainment of 13 additional years with a special ceremony, a reprise of the ritual and celebration which took place seven decades previously?

Although I have no plans for a second bar mitzvah for myself, the passage of 70 years brings back some nostalgic recollections and provides me with an incentive to speak about the substance and meaning of bar mitzvah as a rite of passage.

According to the Talmud, a Jewish boy at 13 and a girl at 12 attain the age of responsibility and become obligated to observe the mitzvoth, the ritual and ethical commandments spelled out in the Torah and in post-biblical Jewish tradition. The term bar mitzvah, literally “son of commandment,” originally denoted not a ceremony, but referred rather to the status of the young person who had come of age and was to be held accountable for his/her actions. He or she was now personally responsible for any sins of commission or omission and was to bear the consequences for any lapses and transgressions.

Along with the responsibilities there were privileges to be enjoyed. A 13-year-old boy could now be accorded the honor of leading the congregation in prayer and reading scripture during worship services. It became the custom for a boy, on reaching the age of 13, to exercise that privilege for the first time, to chant from the Torah and the Prophets, and to expound on the meaning of what he had read. Because women were exempted from the obligation to participate in worship at fixed times, there was no corresponding public ritual for girls until the mid-twentieth century, when bat mitzvah (“daughter of commandment”) ceremonies for girls became common in non-Orthodox synagogues.

Every society has its rituals through the performance of which a young person demonstrates to the community elders that he or she has acquired the skills necessary to function as an adult member of the group. In many societies, rites of passage involve skills associated with physical strength and endurance. A bar or bat mitzvah reflects the value that Jewish tradition places on the ability to read, to understand, and to interpret the Scriptures and the post-biblical works commenting and elaborating on them. A 12- or 13-year-old certainly does not have a sophisticated or comprehensive understanding of Jewish tradition and, outside of those young people who have studied in a Jewish day school, lacks the proficiency in Hebrew to deal with traditional texts in the original. Still, the ceremony has a very important symbolic meaning, especially when the bar or bat mitzvah celebrant views the ritual as a commitment to continued engagement with the study and practice of the faith. I can attest also that participating in the bar or bat mitzvah of a child or grandchild is a deeply emotional experience, marking a significant milestone along life’s path for a parent or grandparent.

Despite the words that used to be the standard opening line of bar mitzvah speeches – “today I am a man,” 13-year-olds today are not adults. Contrast this to our grandparents’ generation, when people entered the workforce and married at a much younger age and did not have the long years of schooling that are now necessary for employment in a profession or trade. In the age of the great European migrations to America, many young people made the Atlantic voyage on their own as teenagers. But even today, I would argue that a rite of passage for youngsters in their early teens celebrated in the context of a faith tradition has value. The teen years are a time when young people are given more freedom by their parents but also a time associated with physical changes, awareness of sexuality and very often confusion, anxiety and uncertainty about one’s social standing and future prospects. Young people have much to gain from a ritual that anchors them in their tradition and gives them the confidence and sense of accomplishment that derive from completing months of study and preparation in order to lead prayers and recite scripture in the presence of a congregation.

Rabbi Barry Marks is rabbi emeritus of Temple Israel in Springfield.

This article appears in April 16-22, 2026.