Do you fear that the American people have become as
fat, lazy, and submissive as a bunch of cud-chewing cows? Well, if you
think that we’ve totally lost our rebellious spark, let me tell you a
heartening cow story. Few creatures in the animal kingdom are perceived as
so doltish and docile as your average bovine, which seems content to spend
its short life standing in a field mooing, eating, and pooping —
before being led to slaughter. So imagine the surprise of people in
Southern California to learn that a herd of nine wily, wiry, and wild cows
is loose in the canyons and brush of the Santa Monica Mountains. These are renegade cows that escaped from a
rancher’s pen five years ago and bolted into the neighboring national
recreation area in the mountains. Even though you’d think that it
would be easy to track down a herd of 1,000-pound cattle in a
frequently used park just across Interstate 405 from Beverly Hills, these
rebels have rarely been seen, much less rounded up. How could such lumbering sirloins-to-be avoid
detection? Well, animal scientists say that even slow-moving, slow-witted
farm animals never really lose their wild side, and those that escape can
switch on their natural survival instincts. One park ranger who has seen
some of the wild Santa Monica Nine say that they are elusive, cunning, and
surprisingly fleet of foot: “I came close to them,” he says,
“and they just took off running like a deer might if you were to get
too close.” The lesson here is that we all have the seed of
insurgency within us, ready to break loose from the confines of the
corporate order and live life on our own terms. So rise up America, and
turn loose your wild side!
This article appears in Jan 26 – Feb 1, 2006.
