In keeping with the biblical adage that it’s better to give than to receive, I came up with a delightful sleighful of
holiday goodies this year to dispense to some of our nation’s most special people.
It was not easy to shop for these folks. I mean, what do you get for members of
Congress, since they already have pretty much everything? Finally, though, I
thought of the perfect one-size-fits-all gift solution for each of our 535
lawmakers. I sent my fondest wish that from now on they receive the exact same
level of annual income, health coverage and pension that the typical American
gets.
Then came our banker friends — the CEOs of Citigroup, Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs and all
the other Wall Street barons who devised exotic Ponzi schemes that profited a
few global investors before crashing our economy. You might assume that they
should get no holiday gift at all, since Washington has already handed them
nearly $8 trillion in taxpayer bailout money. But it occurred to me that there
is one thing they’ve not received that is long overdue: pink slips!
Having made such a financial mess of their own companies and of our country’s economic health, why are they still on the job? Far from being penitent, some
have even been using bailout funds to feather their own nests with
multimillion-dollar paychecks and perks. If they can’t be sent to jail, let’s at least retire these people to the confines of their mansions, where they can
do no more harm to the public. Who knows — maybe with time for reflection, some might even grow a conscience and do
something restorative, such as volunteering with Habitat for Humanity to help a
few of the families ruined by Wall Street’s machinations.
George W., Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are three others deserving of our thoughts — especially after what they’ve put the country through during the past eight years. From instituting torture
to conducting a war of lies, they’ve tried to impose an autocratic rule of executive supremacy on our land.
Handcuffs seemed an appropriate gift for this swaggering threesome, but that
would hardly be in keeping with the spirit of the season. So, finally, I
settled on leather-bound copies of Constitutional Law for Dummies. This tome could come in handy for them in future months, as investigative
committees and grand juries begin to review their White House files. As an
extra plus, Bush could use his copy as a starter book for his new, secretly
funded presidential library.
Finally, I did not forget President-elect Barack Obama. What a job he’s walking into! Coping with restoration of the middle class, redirection of
energy policy, repairing America’s infrastructure, withdrawal from Iraq and so much more, he’s going to need all the strength he can muster. Especially difficult will be the
necessity to push aside the forces of “no” that will swarm him in Washington — ranging from 13,000 corporate lobbyists to don’t-rock-the-boat, business-as-usual politicians in his own party.
So, I sent a jumbo glue gun to him, filled with Elmer’s Super Glue, so he can give himself a periodic shot to stiffen his spine. Of
course, the real glue he’ll need is the political energy of grassroots folks to back him up, so he can
stand up firmly for the people’s
interest.
Jim Hightower is a national radio commentator, columnist and author.
This article appears in Dec 25-31, 2008.
