This feels like a dangerous topic and a forever question. My intention is not to create division or argue about biology and what someone should or should not do, but to bring light to some wisdom teachings and build discussion on the topic for all of us, whatever our age, gender and ways in which we identify ourselves. I am still trying to figure the answer to this question, but I do believe the answer contains some type of wholeness in its definition. Wholeness, not implying perfection, but overall balance.
My personal belief is in inclusivity, and I support and respect all choices and ways someone identifies themselves and wants to live their life. My personal faith is in a loving Divine Infinite Source and that our individual lives are incarnations of the Divine’s loving light. Just in the same way a prism interacts with sunlight. From that, many colors, ways and perspectives come through, yet we are all ONE from the native, loving and life-giving Divine Source.
To create some framework, I will use the idea of manhood as literal biological men, but ultimately this is only a small slice of what it means. I encourage the reader to think of manhood more as an energy, not just in a way someone identifies themselves, but the type of energy that is found in Buddhism, Taoism, art, storytelling and other universal wisdom traditions. In these ways we cannot identify things into categories so easily, but must learn to blend our head and heart.
My biological father died when I was 1, so my physical connection to him was severed early but I have always felt a mental and spiritual connection to him. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a stepfather who took on the enormous task of raising three young boys. For that I will be forever grateful. As each year passes, and as I grow as a father of three, I realize what an amazing and enormous role that must have been for him to step into. I have also been grateful to have many great men as mentors in my life. Nothing is ever self-made as we are so deeply connected to one another, for better or for worse.
Many men never meet their father, or even if they do, the father may not be fully present physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Fully “showing up” in today’s world seems like a lofty dream, a slippery slope and a razor’s edge. Yet I believe it is in the great challenge to show up fully that we become the best versions of ourselves and create a great world.
Carl Jung, famous psychotherapist and father of archetypes, along with many other men’s movement leaders like Robert Bly, author of Iron John, Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, authors of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, and David Wagner, author of Backbone, put some work into describing four important inner blueprints (archetypes) which a man may work towards. There are also many great workshops, including The ManKind Project, which I attended in my early 20s, that are based on similar concepts. (www.mkpusa.org.)
Based in psychology and mythology, the four mature masculine archetypes are King, Warrior, Magic (or Mystic) and Lover.
The King
• Healthy Aspect: A stable, centered leader who provides structure, order and security for his community or family, prioritizing the good of others.
• Shadow Aspect: The Tyrant or Weakling, who is either controlling and insecure, or passively abdicates responsibility.
The Warrior
• Healthy Aspect: Embodies discipline, strength, skill and loyalty, acting as the part of the psyche that carries out decisions with purpose and devotion.
• Shadow Aspect: The Masculine Monster, a rage-filled, unmotivated and undisciplined figure.
The Magician (Mystic)
• Healthy Aspect: Represents wisdom, intuition and insight, understanding how to transform perspectives and manifest results through insight and changing beliefs.
• Shadow Aspect: The False-Wise One or Trickster, who is overly intellectual or manipulative, using knowledge for destructive ends.
The Lover
• Healthy Aspect: Embodies deep emotional connection, passion, joy and appreciation for life’s beauty and sensory experiences, living fully and with intensity.
• Shadow Aspect: The Addict or Imago Dei, which is a self-absorbed, pleasure-seeking figure who is afraid of their own deep emotional life.
We may better understand these archetypes through embracing the spectrum. Masculinity is expressed across a spectrum of morality, emotions and consciousness. This is constant and dynamic development, a journey and not a destination. By engaging with and understanding these archetypes, a man can move from immature shadows to healthy expressions. There must be action and participation, aka “work.” Having a men’s group to work with can be enormously helpful.
Work towards creating wholeness and balance. The goal is to integrate the energies of all four archetypes, rather than being dominated by just one.
Tim Hahn of Springfield is a son, brother, husband and father. He and his wife, Molly, have three wonderful young children and have been running a health and wellness business in Springfield since 2010.
This article appears in REGEN Fall 2025.
