Knowing my own faults and foibles, I try to be tolerant of such things in others-even those who think that Brussels sprouts are actually edible or who don’t like animals! There is one habit I find difficult to understand, though: so many people seem to have an aversion to silence. More than one person has told me they turn on the television when they are alone, “just for the noise.” The word “noise” does not hold a positive connotation for me. At this time of year, noise coming from the television can be particularly annoying, due to the abundance of what I think of as “Christmas cacophony,” those commercials urging us to buy our way to a wonderful holiday.
Religions have enjoined silence on their followers for thousands of years as a way to leave our worldly concerns behind, at least temporarily, and cultivate the life of the spirit.
One of the best-known verses from Judaism is this from Psalms 46, “Be still and know that I am God.” It is surely difficult to be aware of the presence of God when surrounded by noise. There is also the practice of “Noble Silence” in Buddhism, a specific discipline to avoid harmful speech and, in Hinduism, silence is not something one does but a state one can become.
Then, of course, there is the silence that is a prerequisite for meditation. Baha’i scripture tells us that it is impossible to both speak and meditate. Baha’u’llah says, “The sign of the intellect is contemplation and the sign of contemplation is silence.”
Giving guidance to anyone who aspires to be a seeker, Baha’u’llah says, “He must observe silence and refrain from idle talk, for the tongue is a smoldering fire and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth for a century.”
Reflecting on the amount of time I’ve spent in “idle talk” is sobering, especially when I realize that such talk easily devolves into backbiting, one definition of which is “malicious talk about someone who is not present.” Baha’is are told that backbiting is the worst human quality. This is alarming because it’s ubiquitous in our society and even practiced on a daily basis by the leaders of our government. We can only say, with the psalmist, “Set a guard, O my soul, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalms 141:3).
We must remember, though, that not all “small talk” is “idle talk.” There are those polite precursors to meaningful conversations – such as inquiries about the other’s health and family which, when sincerely asked, pave the way for deeper communication. Those of you familiar with Alexander McCall Smith’s No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency book series know of the charming custom in Botswana of asking those things before any conversation is initiated, even with a stranger, and being thought rude if you fail to ask.
As in all things, silence can be carried to extremes, and moderation is the key, lest we forget the importance of speech which, after all, can impart knowledge, inspire action, sharpen the imagination and move hearts.
Just as a balanced diet and adequate rest are essential to our health, a balance between speech and silence is necessary for our souls to thrive. Baha’i scripture tells us that “True silence is the rest of the mind and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body – nourishment and refreshment.”
If you’re giving gifts this season, don’t forget to give yourself the gift of silence. It may turn out to be the best gift of all!
Nancy Flood-Golembeck is a retired teacher and longtime
member of the Baha’i Faith. In addition to serving on the local Baha’i
governing body, she is currently writing a memoir.
