All of you John “Mad Dog” Ashcroft fans
will be glad to hear that he’s back in government! Well, not in government, exactly. President George W.
Bush’s former attorney general is actually working the smarmy edges
of government, having become a Washington lobbyist. He’s put his
reputation, expertise, and — most important — his connections
up for hire as an influence-peddler. In his pitch to potential corporate clients, Ashcroft
is blunt about what he has to sell, boasting that after years as a senator
and cabinet officer, he has “developed and cultivated close
relationships with leaders . . . in the top levels of
government.” In other words: “Have golden Rolodex, will
travel!” Bizarrely, however, Ashcroft says that he’ll be
successful because he’s a man of “the highest level of
integrity.” Then, getting serious, Ashcroft says that he’ll
specialize in getting his former colleagues in the Department of Homeland
Security to give government contracts to his clients. He’ll also use
his insider knowledge to help corporate criminals avoid punishment by
regulators. Apparently these activities are what passes for high integrity
in Ashcroft’s mind. Who’s hiring him? Well, he snickers,
“It’s not Billy Bob’s car wash in Peoria.” No,
indeed — working for the small guy would take a deep integrity that
Ashcroft has never known. Instead, he’s lobbying for the likes of
ChoicePoint. This data-mining giant was given millions of dollars worth of
Department of Justice contracts when Ashcroft was AG, and now ChoicePoint
executives are paying him six figures to deliver more of our tax dollars to
them. For Ashcroft, it’s really about money. He says
he’s deeply touched that corporations seem to love him:
“It’s been gratifying and I’m earning significant
multiples of what I’ve ever earned before.” Now that’s
integrity!
This article appears in Apr 6-12, 2006.
