Adults to blame for children’s mental health crisis

I read with interest Dilpreet Raju’s cover story on children’s mental health. Like numerous other sources, it cites an increase in screen time as one of the primary reasons for increased anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions among youth, especially girls.

With the wealth of information about the impact of screens on children, we have to put the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of parents, guardians and other adults who purchase phones, tablets and other screens for their children as early as in infancy. The most important thing we can do to reduce youth mental health challenges is to take screens away or not introduce them in the first place. 

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I recently had a heated conversation with a friend intent on buying a tablet for her granddaughter’s first birthday. I begged her not to do it, despite her argument that she sees other kids with tablets and the phone is the only thing that calms the baby when she is fussy.

My friend’s weak argument infuriated me. It told me that she and the baby’s parents are failing her. With the slightest whimper, they give her a phone. She might be tired. She might be overstimulated. She might need to be held. She might be hungry. All these needs remain unmet when they give her a phone. But they give it to her anyway, because it keeps her quiet.

We encourage children to make good choices. Yet, we adults fail to make a good choice every single time we choose electronics over common sense. I was even told that all strollers, infant carriers, etc. now come with hardware to which electronic devices can be attached.

It’s as if we have forgotten how to interact with young children and that we no longer recognize the place of stuffed animals, dolls, blocks, cars, trucks, books and other toys in their development. These items are suitable substitutes for screens as are any number of items that can be found around the house – paper towel rolls, popsicle sticks and the all-time favorite, empty boxes.

The article failed to mention the use of screens in schools. My 5-year-old grandson was required to have headphones on his first day of kindergarten. I haven’t volunteered in his classroom yet, so I’m not sure how his teacher is using the Chromebook or tablet, but each student has one. Standardized tests are now given on screens, not because it is in the best interests of the students, but because test companies can grade them more quickly this way.

I’m fairly confident other resources can be used with the same or similar outcome. I have worked with children over 20 years and am disturbed that so many do not know how to hold a pencil correctly or how to form the letters of the alphabet. Some, when given a book, don’t know how to operate it. They attempt to press the pages as they would an icon and try to scroll rather than turn the pages.

I am not an opponent of screens. I am using one right now to write this article. I am an opponent of giving screens to children long before they “need” them. Children cannot legally purchase alcohol and tobacco-related products. Yet, we give them screens (referred to by some as digital heroin) almost as soon as they emerge from the womb. Screen addiction in adults and children is real. And with that addiction comes a host of health issues, starting with short attention spans and vision problems.

Again, I don’t have a problem with screens. I have a problem with adults who do not make rational decisions where screens are involved. A parent or other adult who exposes their child to illicit drugs or weapons is vilified. Yet, those who put screens in front of their children 10 hours a day somehow get a pass. 

I see these kids nearly every day. In an early session with a new student, she had her phone as we walked to the tutoring room. We got off to a rough start when I told her to leave it with her mother. A few weeks later I cut one of our sessions short after she nearly fell out of her chair. She had been up all night playing Roblox.

There are always parents who argue phones are necessary. In case of an emergency, they want their children to be able to reach them. If these parents simply wanted their children to be able to call them, they could buy them a flip phone or another device without connectivity. These options don’t permit mindless scrolling and access to social media platforms where fake images take on a life of their own.

We have to do better. We have to stop putting harmful technology in the hands of children. We, the adults, have created the mental health crisis our children are experiencing. And we have to be willing to not only take the blame, but to be willing to fix it.