In a world in which there is so little to believe in, yet
another absolute has been disproven. Up
until seeing Baywatch, I though that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was capable of
anything, but alas even he can’t save this ineffective and surprisingly crude
comedy. That’s not to say that he phones
it in; if anything his charisma helps elevate this tired material, making it
somewhat bearable rather than another retread of worn out ideas.
Those who live in Emerald Bay have little to worry about in
their sun-drenched, posh community.
Every day is gorgeous, every one is well-heeled and their pristine beach
is patrolled by the best of the best, led by Mitch Buchannon (Johnson), a
mountain of a man who approaches his lifeguard duties with a seriousness
befitting the splitting of atoms. All is
well in his paradise, until he’s saddled with Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a
disgraced, gold medal winning, Olympic swimmer who has to complete his stint of
community service with the Man-mountain’s squad. Needless to say, the kid wants no part of
this and with a chip on his shoulder the size of Everest, it’s a wonder he can
float let alone swim. However, they have to put their differences aside when
they discover drug runners are using the beaches of Emerald Bay as a gateway
for their new product and businesswoman Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra) may be
behind it.
The story, replete with one too-many action scenes and a
third act that runs a good 15 minutes too long, is, excuse the expression, all
wet. Obviously, you don’t look to
movies such as this for originality, yet the script by Damian Shannon and Mark
Swift seems particularly derivative, perhaps because it bears such a striking
resemblance to CHIPS, another lackluster adaptation. Not helping matters is
director Seth Gordon’s inability to settle on a consistent tone. Going back and forth between scenes of
sophomoric humor and those of overwrought action, the movie becomes a bit of a
schizophrenic affair, never fully buying into one or the other.
The antagonistic chemistry between Johnson and Effron is
very good, their back-and-forth barbs generating some chuckles but hardly any
big laughs. The crudity of the jokes
they’re saddled with works against them as there’s far too little time spent on
actually spoofing the original television show and how ridiculous it was in the
first place. In the end, Baywatch comes off as a half-hearted attempt to
capitalize on a piece of nostalgia that’s still too fresh in the memory for a
serious lampooning.
This article appears in May 25-31, 2017.
