Heading off to college is a major transition in the life of a young adult – and that young adult’s parents. The process of organizing, packing, moving and finding one’s way in a new environment while maintaining ties to home is a process that is as challenging as it is ultimately rewarding. What follows are some tips designed to make the process easier.
Shopping
New pens, pencils, and notebooks are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to back-to-school shopping for the college-bound student. A new world of communal bathrooms, tiny dorm rooms and limited storage space awaits, and the purchase of certain items can make this world much easier to inhabit.
Most schools provide explanations of what they provide and what each student needs to bring to supplement that, and it is wise to read over this information carefully before heading to the store. Many retailers, such as Bed Bath and Beyond and Target, also provide checklists of suggested items. Before making any major purchases, however, be sure your student contacts his or her roommate to coordinate who is bringing what in terms of major items such as refrigerators and television sets.
When it comes to the most important category of items to buy, a survey of Springfield parents unanimously named storage items, such as plastic drawers, under-bed storage and shower organizers. Dorm rooms are not big, and most teenagers have a lot of stuff. As one mom put it, “You can never have too many extra drawers.”
Packing
Heading to college means that 18 years of accumulated personal belongings, plus new purchases, must be distilled into the space of one half of one small dorm room. “The shopping part was the fun part,” said Mary Trask, whose daughter, Jane, will be a sophomore at Colgate University in New York, “the packing part, not so much!” The college’s distance from home will be a factor in how you pack. For the Trasks, “Jane’s college is 900 miles from our front door, so we knew that there wouldn’t be easy weekend trips to drop off unwanted items and/or pick up things we’d forgotten. We wound up sending several large boxes of bulky and lightweight items (pillows, bedding) which were there when we arrived on campus with a fully packed car.” Be prepared either to ship winter clothes as the weather turns cool or to visit with a suitcase full of sweaters that will be exchanged for summer clothes to be sent home. Students attending college closer to home have the luxury of not having to be quite so exacting about what they will need, as there will inevitably be trips home to pick things up and drop things off. Phil Locascio, whose daughter, Lucy, will be a sophomore at Iowa State University, strongly advises parents to avoid overpacking. “I think people sometimes take too much stuff to the dorms. Don’t go overboard – just bring the things you absolutely need and the rest of the stuff you can bring or buy later.”
Adjust to the empty nest
Having a child leave for college is a major emotional adjustment to make, whether that child is your first, last or only. As one Springfield mom noted, “The milestone of sending a child to college can bring a flood of memories, emotions and overwhelming love for your child. I feel like the mother robin who is kicking the baby out of the nest to fly. It’s hard.” Many parents advise staying busy as a way to take your mind off the sudden quietness in the house. Now is an excellent time to start volunteering, take a class or return to that hobby that you put aside when your kids came along and your free time disappeared.
Mary Trask found that it helped to make plans to see your child in the future. “Make arrangements for Family or Parents Weekend as soon as you learn about it,” she advises. Another mom whose daughter attends college in the Chicago suburbs tries to see her once every two weeks. “Plan lunch, dinner, breakfast, whatever, to go make physical contact with them within the two-week mark. They won’t have much time – you’ll take a long time to get there and wind up with enough time to get a meal that you pay for, but it’s basically checking in, letting you know that they’re physically OK,” she said.
Finally, remember to savor the joy and pride that come with watching your child take the first step towards independence and knowing that they are the person they are today in no small part because you raised them well.
Erika Holst is the Curator of Collections at the Springfield Art Association. When she left for college she tried to pack all her worldly possessions into one refrigerator box and could have benefitted from an article such as this.
This article appears in Capital City Parent July 2013.
