Guest Opinion | Thursday, December 14,2006

A sporting chance

Let's fix what ails University of Illinois football and basketball

Having solved the Chief Illiniwek problem [see “Solving Chief Illiniwek,” Aug. 18], Yanks Avatar, Tom “Snorts” Sullivan, and Father “Frog” O’Malley have now d

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, November 29,2006

Revenge of the nurses

Our patient discovers something worse than illness

By Doug Bybee

I am strong! I fear only soy milk and . . . kidney stones. I’m in and out of sleep here, and someone named Judge Judy has just sentenced me to death! She holds court above me. I stand alone, do

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, November 15,2006

Staying alive

When it comes to health matters, even smart guys are idiots

By Doug Bybee

Untitled Document I need to rent a woman for Ben DeFray — nothing sexual intended; no domestic duties; no companionship required; no relationship need exist at all. All she

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, November 1,2006

Winging the news

Even spontaneity is scripted on the local broadcast

By Doug Bybee

Where once they were brightly colored, they were all pastel now — all soft, all weak hues. They lived in pastel houses and slept in pastel beds. They ate pastel food, drank pastel drink. They th

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, October 25,2006

The night the moose killed innocence

The '50's turn into the '60's - and everything was suddenly different

By Doug Bybee

According to Danny “Rags” Sullivan, 1959 was dragging its summer. In fact, July 28 lasted nine days. Rags’ birthday was July 29 — he’d be 12. The big 12! In our small Mi

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, October 11,2006

A hairy situation

How I decided to vote in the gubernatorial race

By Doug Bybee

A hairy situation I’ve written about 40 articles for Illinois Times, none of ’em on purpose. The words fall from my laptop during morning coffee. The stories “falling” are a

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, September 27,2006

Very fuzzy logic

It's hard to get a clear picture of anything, especially political candidates

By Doug Bybee

Fuzzy logic, as you may or may not know, is a real live mathematical concept with an acronym (FL), a formula of sorts, and a long explanation full of words such as “empirically based,” &ld

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, September 20,2006

For the sake of the mulch

When the truck bites the dust, there's only one thing to do

By Doug Bybee

Monday: I have a red truck. I’m vehicle-ignorant: color is the limit of my vehicular knowledge. I had gearhead buddies when I was a teenager; they dreamed of the 1957 Chevy. I didn’t share

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, September 13,2006

Here and there, part 2

Not many things really seem to make sense, do they?

By Doug Bybee

He was not from here; he was from there. He’d been here once before, with, at best, confusing results [see Bybee, “Here and there,” Feb. 23]. His previous visit had been a medical ma

Guest Opinion | Wednesday, September 6,2006

Odd man out

Once upon a time, "different" people were allowed to roam free

By Doug Bybee

Not many “different” people out-and-about anymore. By alternating acts of charity and intolerance, we herd odd folks into more palatable definitions. I’m not sure where they put the