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Yep, Joe Carnahan’s Smokin’
Aces is a teen boy’s fantasy come to life.
Every character has a signature line or action; every problem is solved
with a kick, jab, or gun blast. In short, Aces is hardly a revolutionary film.
Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven, at his
most irritating) is a lounge-lizard magician who was once in tight with the
mob. Now he threatens to turn state’s evidence unless Primo Sparazza
(Joseph Ruskin), the local kingpin, gives him a piece of the action.
Instead, Primo decides to off Israel, offering up a $1 million bounty.
This, of course, brings out a rogue’s gallery of killers and
ne’er-do-wells, each vying for Israel’s head and all of them
getting in each other’s way as they do so. Caught in the middle of
all of this are three FBI agents (Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta, and Andy
Garcia), who are assigned to protect Israel so that his testimony can be
used to bring down Sparazza.
Perhaps the biggest problem with the film is that no
one’s playing a real person. This universe is populated by nothing
but “characters,” each of them with as much depth as a puddle.
The killers who assemble are nothing more than a group of tired archetypes
who clutter the screen with predictable gags. A trio consisting of two
ex-cops and a bail bondsman (Peter Berg, Martin Henderson, and Ben Affleck)
bear a resemblance to real folks, but a duo of sleazy female assassins,
played by Alicia Keys and Taraji P. Henson, come off as Sin City rejects. Throw in a Nazi
trio known as the Tremors, a brilliant makeup man (Tommy Flanagan), and a
psychotic torturer named Acosta (Nestor Carbonell), and we’re left
with a mishmash of action figures who’ve unfortunately escaped from
their plastic-and-cardboard holding cells.
As one would expect, once the millionth bullet has been
expended and you’re wondering whether anyone in the film can still
hear, there’s the requisite twist ending that explains just what all
the fuss over Israel is all about. I, for one, could not have cared less
whether there was an ulterior motive to the mayhem or whether all of the
pieces fit together. Having been assailed by Carnahan’s sledgehammer
approach, all I wanted to do was flee to a nice coffee shop where soothing
tunes fill the air and real people communicate with words, not weapons.



